Such a good marriage and close to retirement till he....

by Linda
(Iowa)

I know marriage takes two people that is two people working darn hard to keep it together. Because at the start it was love that kept it going, but soon that kind of still there but it slows down.

This is a second marriage for us both, it was so much fun there for a while. Till I turned 70 and he is 69. He started telling me people thought he looked only 55. I said hope that stays for you.

I should have known, but didn't see. The person that told my husband he looked all of 55 is his new girlfriend she is all of 47. A Mexican gal, married with two children. She lives just west of our house and the spring of 2021 she got my husband to force me out of our house.

I moved in with our son in another town. I still love my husband, put up one hell of a fight for the man. But he won't give up the girlfriend, I believe now she controls him.

At my age there is health problems and things. I am a Christian and believe in my vows. He has left Jesus says He won't take him. Right.

Ah the battle is still going on, now husband wants to retire and wants me to go back to work so he can do this. But won't give up the girlfriend so I won't agree to work, so he can't retire. One wonders what happens when he is forced into retirement?

Because he has diabetes but won't take care of it and he drives a truck for a living.

So I am retired and enjoying it; guess maybe husband is enjoying things as well.

My life right now is a story to be had. Maybe I should write a book?

Comments for Such a good marriage and close to retirement till he....

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No way
by: Sandy

Oh, Linda - I am so very sorry for your pain. You sound like a wonderful person who does not deserve this.

Even though you don't believe in divorce, that belief will not help you if you are living in poverty because he has found a way to take your money for his new life and new wife.

Protecting yourself is a necessity, especially at your age. And continuing to work is only enabling him and in a way, it is approving of his decision to cheat.

Don't do it!

Even if you have to go for therapy to get through this, do it, find your courage and move on. You have to take care of yourself first.

May you find the courage and peace you will need.

Husband Infidelity
by: Sherry/ NC

Your husband has a bad character to cheat on you. You will never be able to trust him again.

I agree with Wendy
by: Mark

Please value yourself as a person . You will be always second guessing him and causing stress on yourself. Talk to an attorney they don’t have the emotional attachment that you have.

Book
by: Anonymous

One thing does not make sense to me in your situation, how would you working help him out since he is in the house? Are you paying for upkeep of home? If so, why?

My gosh, get out of the situation. Even if you have feelings for him, he obviously does not for you.

Get a life now. You are 70, no time to waste.

As far as writing a book, many people can do that with what they put up with. A lot of this is nothing new.

Just let this chapter go and live. Do before something else happens!


by: Wendy

You are almost too passive in this situation.

Linda, I am glad you want to fight for him as I believe people divorce too easily. However, I think you should see an attorney -- just to learn about your rights, and assure he doesn't leave you "screwed" financially.

Do a Legal Separation if you don't care to divorce him. Get it all in writing, your income from him, the house remains in both names, that he hasn't changed beneficiaries on things that legally belong to you, ​whatever!

Please don't wait until something happens -- then realize you've lost so much.

Make an appointment with a divorce attorney, one that specializes in divorces. Normally the consultation is free, and just tell them your story and listen to their advice.

You don't have to hire them, but be smart and know your rights.

p.s. Don't you dare return to work simply so he can retire... let her work and support him. I can't believe he'd even ASK you to do that!

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