Unexpected at 52

by Chris

My father and mother had a terrible car accident back in 2017, my dad did not survive and my mom was badly injured. She moved in with us to help care for her, she was badly injured mentally and physically.

Last year I had an offer from one of my employees to buy my business, he is like a son to me, so I decided that I would sell, seemed necessary due to the fact my mom needed us.

My mom is fully recovered and in December moved back to her home 500 miles away.

About a month later I had a nervous breakdown, PTSD, and now I am recovering with the help of therapy and some meds, which I cannot believe I need and I do currently.

I am missing the job and mostly the people, many say go back to work, I cannot yet due to my current mental state.

I had No idea this could happen, I planned most of my life to retire but never thought about what came next,,,


Comments for Unexpected at 52

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Similar Experience
by: Natasha

Oh that is tough. I just had a similar experience in that I lost the foster kids i was taking care of.

There are so many reminders; rooms adjusted with the furniture bought to do the caregiving. Etc etc etc. Cupboards with food especially bought, Paperwork, bikes bought and still hère etc. I am guessing you have the same reminders. But there must be a way out of this feeling of having made decisions that now look too bold.

But these were loving bold decisions, not mean or illegal decisions. My son the inventor and businessman reminds me that it takes rejections and failures before the formula is right.

Good luck. Fill us in as things take shape.

No wonder
by: Nancy

You are having PTSD. The issue of me taking care of my mother (which I didn't do) continues to be an issue even after she is gone. My sister bore the brunt, my mother needed to be in a long term care facility which she didn't do. I am so sorry for what you are going through. Take care of yourself.

Down time
by: Wee-zer

Chris, I agree with Wendy. Give yourself a break. You have had a lot on your plate and held it all together but just like a well worn pair of pants, they are thread bare after long, hard use.

You don't have to make any rash decisions at this point. I am guessing you are set with retirement money by selling your business.

I would suggest you start a journal. Get yourself a notebook and start recording your thoughts. Good, bad, things you do during the day, recipes you make. Wishes, dreams, loves, hates. Just a bunch of stuff that goes thru your head. You might find it helpful to find your way by tracking your thoughts.

Not sure what your business was that you sold but is there any type of book you could write about being in business or how to run that type of business. Even if you never published it, it could be fun to write about your business from the bottom to the top. The things you figured out the hard way, what kind of people you hired that made the business successful. What would you have done better, what did you do wrong. What would you change if you were to do it again. There has to be tons of information you could put down on paper. You could have separate 3 ring note books to separate out departments, how each one ran, how many people in each department, what the duties of each employer was. It might be on no interest to anyone but it could be a fun exercise to do.

Interested in this idea? Wendy is offering you a free Kindle book course... write to me using the ABOUT ME ---> Contact Wendy page. This is a great idea -- people can use your knowledge on running a business!
Write a Kindle Book in 30 Days!

Other than that, find some FUN, FUN things to do! Go out to lunch with a significant other, a friend, a nephew a cousin. Watch some funny movies. Read some funny books. Do things that will cheer you up.

Another thing is reading books. There is a whole world of interesting subjects. Biographies, exploration, self improvement, hobbies, travel, art, history, self help. You can really find new worlds in books and the public libraries are there for us to use for free!

Start buying the local newspaper and look for events in your area. There are lots of free things and some with a charge but reasonable.

You have been a good son to your Mom and it is now time to take care of yourself. You have a long, long life to enjoy. Start today and tell yourself things are going to be okay. If down the road you want to get a job just for funsies, do it!

Time to heal
by: Sherry/NC

Yes, you need to take time to heal. Not only did your mom lose her husband she was severely injured!! She will continue to heal mentally and physically for a long time.

You went through this terrible tragedy with her and you did the right thing by staying by her side and helping and caring and loving her. This is what truly heals us!! If you believe in prayer, please pray everyday!! God hears you!!
It would be a good thing if you could talk to a professional counselor.

They would help you to endure the pain you are going through.

Keep on, keeping on because I can tell you from experience what doesn't kill you will make you a stronger person and you will watch your mother become a stronger person because of what she has gone through.

Keep sending messages on the retirement community! We all carefor one another!

Good luck and good health to you!!

Give yourself a Break
by: Wendy, www.retirement-online.com

It seems, to me, you need time to heal.

First, forced into your fathers death and mothers caregiver role unexpectedly.

Second, you sold your baby, your business, assuming you'd not be able to return to normal.

Retirement transition is difficult under normal circumstances. Your retirement wasn't normal.

Give your heart and mind time to heal. From your parents situation, to your own business loss, to the fact you are retired, at least temporarily, right now.

You are ONLY 52. You didn't mention finances so I assume you are fine there. Take it easy. One day at a time. Find things you enjoy doing, things you never had time for when you worked...

Then months from now, maybe even a whole years, if you feel unfulfilled - consider work. Full-time, Part-time, Consultant, Volunteer... whatever, just to get involved in life again.

I hope you FIND LIFE, instead of employment, but only Time will Tell!

Chill out. Give your mental and physical bod a break.

One Day at A Time!

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