Very Sad circumstance for me

i left willingly at 68, sold my home of 30 years, and moved to another state from co. to be close to my daughters.

i don't care for the "warmer climate" with more bugs and people. i could leave now but will lose my family and half of what i worked for and, under these conditions, can't afford to because of $.

Very distraught!!

Comments for Very Sad circumstance for me

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Hey Distraught ...
by: Harry from Arizona

Hey young Lady ... you should not be, as you say, distraught.

I've been where you are now and survived. Easy to say, not so easy to do.

You will need to give a lot of thought as to how you should reorganize your life. Whether you like it or not, you do have a completely different life to live. Take time to find out how you would like to live the latter years. Please yourself ... it's your life.

I've developed a very nice home business. Took a few years, but live very comfortable. All the kids and relatives are close by, but I do not have to depend on them for anything. except for family gatherings.

When you have time, write to me and I'll be glad to help you get reorganized and on the right path. Step by step ... your pace.

by: Terri/Milwaukee

Is there any way you could stay with people you knew in CO for the summers? That may be a great balance.

I am a firm believer in location ranking way up there for some people concerning their happiness. I never knew how much this mattered until I was forced to move out of my hometown which I really loved.

Write down what you want, lay it all out, what you really think will make you happy. Think about it for awhile and then put your plan in action. You don’t want to be miserable.

I am looking at my situation as temporary. I know I am returning to my hometown as soon as the situation warrants. Good luck.

Sad circumstance
by: Elna Nugent, Mass.

Dear Sad:

Try giving your situation a year and then tell us what you think.

Like you , I would definitely find it very difficult to move to a different climate. I have friends who think I am crazy to remain in New England's icy winters , especially when next year I will be 90 years old ( but I feel about 60)

If my daughter were living in the south, I might also
consider it even though my three sons live nearby up here.

Strange but the people who tried to talk me into going where they are in Florida, had a very difficult adjustment at first, but now they love it and would never leave.

So give it a year and see how you feel in March of 2020.

Jersey Girl in Alabama
by: Mary Ellen

I TOTALLY identify with moving from relatively cold weather to MUCH warmer weather. Alabama has long, hot, muggy summers with routine 115 heat indices, scorching hot sun, and don’t forget TORNADOES! And FIRE ANTS! And NO DECENT BAGELS & PIZZA & CANNOLIS!!!!

Not to mention the culture shock of moving from a very blue state to a solid Bible Belt red state...😏

I moved from the Jersey Shore to southeast Alabama (Wiregrass area) 3 years ago to be near my son, daughter in law and two grandchildren, now ages 5 & 4. I left behind my divorced daughter and then 13 year old grandson, who I helped raise, with the idea I’d fly him down to visit with me a few times a year and FaceTime or Skype with him frequently.
However, as SOON as I moved my daughter met someone, remarried, and promptly had two babies, now ages 1 and 2.

So now I travel frequently between Alabama & NJ, spending roughly 12 weeks total in NJ every year. I do not like Alabama weather at all, but I find my joints love it. It’s also waaay cheaper to live here than NJ, and my retirement money goes much further.

And rural Alabama traffic and drivers are a cakewalk after dealing with the congested roads and aggressive drivers I’d lived with my whole life in NJ. I visit NJ for a month during the worst of Alabama summer heat, and I stay in Alabama for the coldest part of NJ winters.

This way I get to enjoy reasonable summer heat and I avoid treacherous, icy sidewalks. I spend a month in late fall in NJ so I get to see the leaves change and smell wood burning in crisp air.

My point is that I pick and choose the best things about each state and schedule my whereabouts accordingly. I’m working on getting my daughter & family to move down here so I can see them more often, but even if she does move here I would still go north a few times a year to visit other family, friends, and eat food that is simply not available in ‘bama. I hope my coping strategies give you some inspiration for dealing with your move. Good luck!

by: Elaine/Port Charlotte FL

Wendy gave great advice. It seems you are dwelling on what you don't like. Try to think of positive things. If you have time on your hands find something to do. Volunteer somewhere or find a part time job. You are with your family which is a big plus. It takes time to adjust to all new things. Give yourself the luxury or taking that time.

Hang in there and work on this.

Me Again
by: Wendy

We don't know WHERE you moved to.

BUT -- I can imagine you living in Florida or somewhere tropical.

Many people would give much to live in a beautifully warm (no snow) place year round!

Yep, with warmth comes bugs -- let's learn how to deal with them now. Don't let bugs steal your perfect retirement place JOY!

Moving doesn't always work out
by: Wendy, retirement enthusiast

These types of stories have been posted over and over...

It makes total sense, move close to your adult children. AND at some point, you WILL need their help. Right?

The only negatives you posted (and your post was kinda short) was Bugs, Warm Weather, and People...

I want to say, the more you tell yourself you really dislike BUGS, Warm Weather, and People, the more it will be ingrained in your subconscious.

You seriously can make yourself miserable. The more your subconscious repeats that, the more miserable you become....even when good things happen, you think, "But that BUG I saw!" :)

This will sound totally weird, but if you are on Facebook... why not become the BUG lady, GRIN! Write that you are sharing all these ugly bugs because you hate them -- and this is your therapy. GIve bugs names. Do whatever to tell your subconscious that Bugs Don't Matter.
People will get into it. Friends from your previous hometown might comment. People locally will see posts and tell stories of their bug sightings.

Ok, that was a crazy idea... what if you simply started a
BUGS IN XXStateXX FB group where others might join. Then people post photos and tell stories on how to get rid of them, and all that.

Hey -- I don't care for warm weather and bugs either. I really don't... but if you KNOW you can't move back, and seriously doubt you REALLY want to, let's make the best of it.

Start with a new attitude on warm weather and bugs. Get out of the house, get a part-time job, volunteer, do a group meeting -- things where you'll meet new people so life becomes busier again.

You can do this... Please stop selling yourself short.

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