Went overboard with change
(Moncton, NB, Canada)
I am 62......when I was 60 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was found early on & after a year was given a clear bill of health. But this got me to thinking about life & what to do with it.
I was not happy working my midnight to 8am job. I was not taking advantage of my big city opportunities - just working & going home. My kids had all moved to other countries & not returning.
I was seeing a guy who wanted to retire & wanted me to retire as well. I was not in love but felt that I owed him since he was by my side through the breast cancer surgery, rehab.
So I thought that if I was going to do a change I would change everything about my life.
Together we both sold our mutual dwellings & bought a nice house complete with pool in another province in a much smaller "hick" town closer to my siblings.
(I was living a nice turn key lifestyle of a 2 bedroom, 2 bath condo). This was 6 months ago....
Now I feel absolutely trapped - + great guilt feelings that it was all my idea. Every morning I open my eyes & start to cry because I am facing another day in a house that has become the "money pit" complete with cleaning pool shores all summer & raking enormous amount of leaves in the fall, with a man I do not love & with no job to fulfill me.
I cannot go back to the former city -which I now realize how much I loved- (because the housing market was great to sell but cannot afford to go back). I also feel I cannot leave him since he sold all he had to be with me.
I feel as if I have aged 10 years in the past 6 months. I can feel my health deteriorating.
I am depressed & stuck in this small minded town where there are no outlet for me to go to.
I am trying to volunteer but this as well is not proving to be an easy task.
Forgot to mention that the winters here are longer/colder.......also there are a shortage of doctors & am on a waiting list.
What was I thinking of when I decided to do this???
They say life is about expectation, & I did not have great lofty expectations but certainly had no idea how hard this choice of retiring, plus moving + merging lifestyle would be. If I cannot change things around I am sure that I've managed to shorten my life expectancy.
Totally did not see this coming.....wished I had done my due deligence + found this website before.
My advise to anyone looking to retire......make sure this is what you really want to do