What is so great about life?

I've had social phobia all my life and is now accompanied with moderate to severe depression.

I had chosen to retire at age 57 because the job that I had was about to be eliminated through automation.

Retirement had turned me into a miserable recluse. I don't know why I can't just die in my sleep and join my parents in heaven just be done with this day-to-day misery.

I had tried a 55+ mobile home community and just stayed inside on most days because of my social phobia and depression.

I later had decided to sell, buy a small motorhome, a campground membership and was thinking, at that time, that walking and hiking around campgrounds, usual in the countryside, should help me with my social phobia and depression.

If other campers started to dislike me because I don't go out and talk to them, I know that I'd only be around them for two to three weeks before I would have to move to another campground as per my campground membership's rules.

In choosing this fulltime RV, roaming around lifestyle, I only had worsend my social phobia and depression. I often, waste half the day in bed just to make my day feel shorter. I lie in bed and wonder what keeps waking me up into another day of misery.

I don't know why I don't want to talk to people because, I've grownup in a large family, even sharing bedrooms with other brothers because we didn't have enough rooms.

I had been to see many doctors that had performed many tests and had prescribed many medications over most my life and it hasn't done anything for my social phobia.

I've thought about retirement apartment complexes as a way to force myself to be around people and maybe,that would help me overcome this awful social phobia.

I've heard of cohousing communities that share a common kitchen dining room, living room and community vegetable garden while each having their own small House, townhouse, condominium, or apartment. I've wondered if I would be welcomed in places like that or, if these places are meant only for socialites.

Sometimes, it helps to type these emails even, if it doesn't lead to any help.

Comments for What is so great about life?

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Your Life Your Choice
by: Kathy/CA

I agree 100% with Bob..who cares what other people think. It's your life and your choice how to live it. Sometimes we just need to get out of our own heads.

What Bob said
by: Nancy

I really couldn't add anything, except to say, I am also an introvert and have social phobia. I am okay the way I am. I do have a husband and 3 pets.

Also what Wendy said about medications was true for me. And this is just what occurred with me and not advice. I had more luck with my family physician than psychiatrists to prescribe my anti-depressant.

Keep us updated on how you are doing.

I know how you feel
by: Bob / Midwest

I know how you feel. I grew up with a mother who suffered from depression and anxiety all her life. But she finally found medication that helped her.

I often think we judge ourselves by how others live. I am of the opinion that we are fine just the way we are and we should be as kind to ourselves as we are to other people.

I'm a total introvert and have social anxiety. But I don't care! So what if I'm not very social?
So what if I prefer my own company? That's the way I am and it's ok.

In fact, it's better than OK, it's perfect, that's who I am and I accept it.

Now, if one is experiencing depression, anxiety, keep seeking help. There are very good therapists who work on the internet.

Also, perhaps a pet would help? It helped me. My cat gives me lots of love and I don't feel lonely. A dog offers a great way to be minimally social as you walk the dog. Most people seem to talk to dog walkers and comment on the dog.

Also, the interenet affords lots of interaction. And as we are in retirement, this is the time to do what we enjoy...whatever that may be.

I think we feel we have to fit into what mainstream society dictates. And to that I say no way.

Let's just be who we are and not criticize ourselves and enjoy the life we have.

I hope you find peace and help.

Wendy: BOB, I love this!!

Social phobia
by: Brian Sullivan UK

Sorry to read about your social phobia, I have exactly the same thing. Each day is a struggle and I have the same feelings as yourself regarding why me?

I often go to sleep wishing I would not wake up.

Luckily I have an incredibly supportive wife and two great sons. I keep looking for a solution but never find it. It is good to know I am not alone.

My heart breaks for you...
by: Wendy, Retirement Enthusiast/Coach

As an introvert, I understand staying away from people a bit -- but I found, in the COVID times, I needed people more and more.

I can't imagine a social phobia so bad that you have to move in the campgrounds over and over!

I wonder -- is it even remotely possible that you THINK people are looking and talking about you, but they aren't? People laughing, and you assume it's about you? Maybe something happened in your childhood, and you still carry it with you today?

It sounds downright depressing -- and although I am certainly no doctor -- wonder why they didn't find the right meds for you? It does take some trying of different meds before the right one works... but so well worth it when you feel mentally well again!

Why don't you consider a counselor/therapist to talk this out? They can show you a way past this old programming into a new happier lifestyle. I think this could help...

Sending prayers your way.

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