Your Thinking: Fact or Limited Beliefs?

by Wendy, Retirement Enthusiast/Coach

Do you think logically and accurately? Do your life decisions make sense?
OR
Do your old limiting beliefs (learned from childhood, teachers, watching others, memories of past circumstances) make you think not-so logical?

In one of my coaching classes, they talked about a woman who asked her professor this question:

  • I have a great boyfriend. We see each other every week or two, as he lives out of state. He calls me every day, sometimes more than once, and now is considering moving here! He is very needy. I like how it is right now -- I don't want to see more of him, even the phone calls are driving me nuts!
    The professor asked one question: What was your parents relationship?

    She was shocked. Her dad was a long-distance driver, only home for weekends, which was their family time. Otherwise, he rarely called and that's her norm.

    As she became aware of this memory interrupting her thinking (tucked away in her subconscious), she began asking her friends what they thought, and she realized she welcomed him living closer and having more frequent interactions.

    What IF she hadn't asked the question that day, hadn't become aware this isn't true for all relationships, and pushed men away for years to come (never recognizing what was happening behind the scenes in her subconscious)?

  • I remember one retiree telling me that he'd die shortly after he retired... like his father had. What a sad mindset to go into retirement with.

    Do you realize how often we do things without thinking about why we do them? The retiree I just mentioned seriously believed he'd die, despite being an intelligent manager at work. It was a long-held belief, in his subconscious, and yet it was not logical, it was not factual but seriously believed.

    Just think, consider buying a new car post-retirement, but no need, I'll die soon anyway. Thinking about travel, but why, might as well stick close to home. For over 10 years now, he's been waiting for death, instead of living!

    What do you think about day after day? What do you reinforce, in your mind, that must be important to you (because you think of it so much)?

    You may *hate* the topic you think about (or worry about) and yet because the thought is there, over and over, your subconsciously helps you to remember the negative when it really only harms you.

    Let's say you don't like retirement. You think about "uggg retirement" over and over.

    What do you do?

    You break that Stinking-Thinking pattern as soon as you can. DUMP that Old Programming.

    Your subconscious mind thinks you hate retirement as you emphatically think it over and over. Now, you must replace that mindset with something better.

  • Find a new interest to make life full of discovery and wonder again! Be curious!

  • Help someone, anyone, so you begin to focus on others and not on yourself. In the winter cold, help another older senior put groceries in their trunk. Simple simple. You will feel a warm-fuzzy glow from helping someone.

  • Start a gratitude journal. Write a few things you are grateful for, every single morning. Do this every day. Get your mindset looking for good in your life instead of being stuck on negative thoughts of retirement.

    You are what you think. Think GOOD!

    If you don't really understand this, that's ok. Give me time to help you little by little!

    • Comments for Your Thinking: Fact or Limited Beliefs?

    Click here to add your own comments

    don't wait
    by: Penny North Carolina

    I was a hospice nurse for 18 years and one of the saddest things I saw was people who waited for retirement to travel or whatever their dream was. For most people is was travel. Then when they retire they get sick and never get to even take the first trip.

    I started traveling when my children were grown and I have seen a lot of the world. Spent most of my retirement money, but I have no regrets. If I had it to do over I would have started sooner and seen more places.

    I have a trip planned with the senior citizens to Mackinaw Island in June. This may be my last trip due to health and ambulation concerns.

    I promised God when it was over I would not whine because I got to do far more than I ever dreamed of.
    Life Long Learner
    by: Canadian Retiree

    I've always considered myself a lifelong learner. Even when working full time I participated in work related workshops and the odd evening course if I could. I always figured I would continue this journey in retirement.

    Although I had a rocky start to my retirement, I have indeed been able to take many courses online and in person. I've been learning watercolour techniques for a couple of years now. I've also taken piano lessons again and work on new pieces.

    I love learning something new so continue to broaden my horizons.
    That’s the Spirit!
    by: Gail/California

    Happy to see you climbed out of the rut! Back on track and moving forward again! Yay to Natasha and Mark! Positive ACTION is incredibly affirming!
    fact / limited beliefs
    by: matt i

    interesting page--seems there is more interest in finding oneself regardless whether you are working or retired.

    wonder why they say giving is better than receiving, because once your pleasure is derived from watching or hearing someone else enjoy--there is no going back to being a "pity party". do we americans care most of world doesn't have it to enter their minds "whether than find themselves" because they are overwhelmed trying to find food, moisture, shelter, clothing and now vaccines?

    I remain confounded how anyone in this country has anything to get to worked up about, or depressed---when there is both a outdoor and indoor library of life to explore behind a computer or vehicle.
    A Story About Joe
    by: Mark in Maryland

    "Your Thinking" got me thinking. About a very short chapter in the book I wrote six years ago, after I retired!

    "An acquaintance whom I had known socially became my wife's new boss. He's a typical easy-going southerner and a workaholic veterinarian, go figure.

    Four years ago, he was diagnosed with tongue cancer. I sent him an email of encouragement. It was a story about 'Joe.'

    Joe was in his early forties, married 15 years. He had a job he hated, so in his time off he spent hours planning a dream trip to every major national park. But in his mind his old VW camper was not good enough for such a trip.

    Joe could only ever envision making the trip in a brand-new motorhome he could never in a million years afford. So, Joe just stayed home. Every year when his two-week vacation rolled around it was always the same: no bank would ever loan him the money to buy his dream-vehicle, a 40' Allegro Open Road. So, he just stayed home.

    Years flew by and suddenly Joe was 55. He still hated the same job and still couldn't afford the motorhome. Six months later while carving the Thanksgiving turkey, he suffered a massive heart attack and could not be revived."

    The email I sent my wife's boss ended, "When you come out on the other side of this thing, which I am certain you will, please, please don't be Joe. Don't stay home."

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