Aging: Its almost over...

by Betty
( Phoenix, Arizona )

Where have the years gone? My 80th birthday will come to pass in September of 2017. But I'm living the 80th year NOW. It began last September. It will be completed this coming September and if I am still here , on September 22 the 81st year will begin.

I find that embarrassing moments and events that occurred in the past keep popping into my mind and again I feel shame for those moments and hate myself for them. I have always been one of these people with an unlikeable self.. and I still do not understand why. Childhood was isolated and there was little opportunity for social education. I wanted SO much to have friends but nobody liked me in any school or in any grade. I wasn't homely and I didn't smell bad. My family was negative, depressed, felt hopeless and was unhappy. My personality carried all those feelings.

I can't do anything about those unpleasant situations in the past so I remind myself that I control my mind and thoughts. Steer clear of those memories and look to the future and enjoy what IS, and leave alone what Was. People's memories of times past are not reality because our inner "climate" colors those memories. Its like the story of the blind men and the elephant. Somewhat true but not completely.

Thankfulness for the ability to exercise and to find beautiful moments in each passing day has become my mantra. Each person's reality is specific unto that person , which is a gift. It would be sad if everyone's perception was identical.

Comments for Aging: Its almost over...

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Aging the end is near? response!
by: Ken San Diego

I'm 66 now and retired since Aug 11,2016 1:00PM, but I don't dwell on my childhood or what could have been.

Being a middle child, I basically lived my own life, signed my own report cards, traveled all over the place (Loved the buses and trains...and my parents both worked so they were none the wiser of where I was!)

Now, I like the free time for travel of course, and I still meet up with co workers for lunch / dinner on occasion, but many are gone (ie: deceased) YIKES...

I like to take spontaneous lunch trips via train .. I know I shouldn't but I still make crank calls to relatives and ex bosses LOL who cares!

So don't give up and GET OUT OF THE HOUSE ... if you are fortunate to live in a warm climate like I do, or even if you don't--->


by: Sheila White

Betty, I'll be 92 this year and having fun using my talent, writing, to help others make their memoirs. I've a lot of pain, but I also have good friends in the same boat. We understand each other. Old age isn't that bad. Cheer up!

Comments for Betty
by: Nancy

Betty, I could have written your entire post myself except I'm 67 instead of 80. Now in my retirement years I play back mistakes I made on my jobs and regrets I had. However, like you, at the end of the post, have decided to be more positive. I intend to focus on these retirement years as years of healing.

I, too, looked back on my childhood, high school, and college when I didn't have many friends. However, there were periods of time when I did have good friends like the end of my high school career, and one very good friend I had in Peace Corps 40 years ago, and we have since rekindled our friendship.

My growing up was terrible. My father was terribly abusive, and so was my mother. My mother was a pillar of the community, and everyone was in awe of her which made it worse for me because no one knew the truth.

I was listening to the radio this morning, a woman whose 12 year old daughter committed suicide. She goes around to schools and tells parents how to be supportive of their children when they were experiencing depression and anxiety. I got punished by my father and mother when I was frustrated or depressed. Yes, punished. That has a far-reaching effect.

I am choosing now to focus on the healthy happy family I have now with my husband and pets.

Keep Going
by: Anonymous

Your life is not over for you could live to an amazing age. My husband is 103+ and can still walk without a cane. I do use one since I broke my hip at 70.

You probably have many years to help others; he still can do little things but for many years he was doing very useful things for other seniors.

by: Elna Nugent, Lenox, MA

Dear Betty:

Aging is a state of mind that we create for ourselves. Our cells are constantly renewing themselves. The body ages but we don't have to.

Surround yourself with young people at times. Listen to them. Enjoy them. I am constantly with my adult children and eight grandchildren. This causes me to feel much younger than I am.

Every morning, when you get up , you can visualize that you are being surrounded by a white light called unconditional love.

This is the universal love that many refer to as God . This God consciousness of unconditional love is present for every one of us. And it surrounds us whether we ask for it or not. You have no idea of how loved you are. Ask for help and you receive it. What we need has to be known to the Universe or help cannot be offered.


by: Wendy

Betty, Unsure I understand the title of your post.. but my mother is doing fine at 90 -- so its not yet over!

Start a Gratitude Journal -- write daily small things in life that you are grateful for, the more you look for the good things in life, the less likely your memory will fall back to those sad years.

You sound like you have a good mindset... get this free meditation app I wrote about recently. I pray you find peace there...

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