I have been divorced for many many years and have two sons in their twenties who live in excess of 200 miles from me and while we are close they do have their own lives. I have no other family.
I was beginning to think of retiring in five years or so when, to my shock, I was not only forced to retire but treated very badly by my employers of eight years... after being considered the best in my field for many years.
I have been prone to anxiety /depression for many years but otherwise have good health. This saga began in May 2010 and I have had many ups and downs.
The anxiety is currently on the increase. I have tried many meds and therapy with little positive effect in the past so I have minimal confidence in these avenues.
I did not have the luxury of planning a retirement and as a public school employee have limited financial resources.
I do not miss the work because of the shabby way I was treated. I am just feeling lost and alone. I do wish I could handle the anxiety better.
Wendy: Jan - this happens to so many near retirees, and in today's economy, more than ever.
Retirement at 58
You might benefit from counting or listing the things that are working in your life and stray your focus away from the sense of aloneness and the sense of victimization.
It requires a shift in thinking that can be hard to figure out, but is well worth your peace of mind.
Thinking the way you are is actually working against reality and that's what causes depression, because what has happened to you is not going to change and fighting it does not make you filled with joy.
Once you stop fighting the reality you can start to work on self nurturing.
Retirement & Depression
By Phyllis Snook
I too am retired and forced into it by a nervous breakdown in the 1990's. It was not something I wanted but something that I had no choice to do.
I still take an anti-depressant today and I found out that I am Bi-Polar. It is not a death sentence. I use it to my advantage and I keep my brain alive so that it doesn't find another place to go.
It's very important when you are retired to keep yourself & your mind alive!
onnect with other seniors, see what they do in their daily lives. Laugh with them, cry with them and scream with them!
You will start to see that you depression has lifted and your anxiety is taking a back seat. You may always be depressed but depression does not have to define who you are.
Pen Pals with someone is the best way to reach out above your cloud!
Crying with a loaf of bread under my arm... new to retirement
by bruce reilly
I was recently let go from my consultant contract and am having a terrible time dealing with the fact that this may be it for me in the work place. That is, I am going to retire.
My self diagnose has my anxiety and 'nerves on end' embedded in not having enough money along with the fact that I have no retirement goals.
However, when I search the web and compare my financial status to the average american it projects that I will have enough money to retire on. I just cannot get past the emotional turmoil and each day brings on the same depression.
I stumbled across this web site would like to 'join a group', get a pen pal, join a blog or what ever. Which brings me to my question.
Can you recommend an approach for me that will put me in touch with others how have experienced similar problems?
Wendy's reply: I just sent you an invitation to the Retirement Transition group. You'll see emails from folks just like you... this is far more common than you think. Now, how you move past this is completely personal.
Retired and very Unhappy...
Very unhappy, need to go back to work. will volunteer in a classroom... hate being home.
Wendy: You need to force yourself to get out. Please don't stay at home and allow yourself to go down a dark path... you can volunteer and bring yourself UP and the organization will love your service. Go for it.
Depression, I think I understand...
Hi Bruce, I understand how you feel.
I have was in high ticket medical sales for many years, then lost my job due to downsizing in my 50's. I suddenly felt "old" especially when most people going for job interviews were 20 years younger.
I ended up going back to my health care roots... registered nursing. I am lucky to have kept my license up to date. That is what I do today. Fortunately, in health care, they do not care how old you are.
I would not give up on your work if you truly enjoy what you do. I think for me, being totally honest, I was getting tired of the corporate rat race.
My challenge now is to find people my age and making new friends... hence this website.
Good luck to you...new doors will open if need be.
In 1992 I was forced into retirement due to a nervous breakdown. It wasn't something I wanted to do.
I felt energetic and still able to hold down a full time job but my doctors all agreed it would be best for me. Best? They didn't really know me at all, but you know I put my forced retirement to good use.
I started writing to many pen pals and found some wonderful people to talk to and before you knew it my retirement didn't feel so badly anymore.
It took me nearly 10 years to get over the depression I was locked into but with the help of caring people through the mail and my own family and friends, I dusted myself off and today I am a strong, viable person.
Sometimes you have to go through rough times to find the "light at the end of the tunnel".
For me, retirement today is delightful, relaxing, and full of fun and delight. My creativity came out in my writing of poetry and short stories and I found other ways to be creative as well.
We moved to a brand new state in 2003 and my husband and I found some more friends to add to our old ones and "live goes on".
I'm happy God gave me the chance to be alive and well and to truly enjoy my forced retirement. Don't let the bumps in life stand in your way, pick one up, throw it, dust yourself off and go along your way.