Glad I am Not Alone

by Bee

I am a new retiree (Oct 30, 2013). After working 20 years at a small company where I was the go to... #2 person after the owner of the company.

I worked 60+ hours a week and typically worked 6 days a week. I was a telecommuter so I was always on my own working in my home office. My job was fast paced and stressful. As I got older the stress really took its toll on me physically.

When I started to get migraines about 6 months ago (almost every month). I decided it was time for me to go. I know it was shock to my boss and until the end he really never thought I would do it. The last 3 months before I left were really hard. I was training people all over the place and eventually just was side lined while everyone took over all of my responsibilities. I know all of this had to happen and that I shouldn't have cared. After all, I was retiring!

I was definitely a person that was totally defined by my job. I lived,ate and slept (though not well) it. On my last day my
boss called said good luck said we needed to get together when I went back east hung up and that was it.

I was mentally preparing myself for having to find myself again and even going a bit crazy with boredom. Never did I anticipate leaving my job and feeling like a failure- as if all the hard work never really meant anything to anybody but that is exactly the way I feel.

I have picked myself up and I am moving forward. I work out 4 to 5 days a week, I am taking to fun classes at a local college. I have signed up for training to volunteer as a teacher with a literacy program.

Since I retired I haven't had one migraine and I sleep soundly through the night. I know I did the right thing in leaving but this feeling of being a failure just won't die. I just don't know how to get past this.

Comments for Glad I am Not Alone

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A Failure!?
by: Neal

You are not a failure. It sounds to me as if you gave it your all. That is something to be very proud of. A lot would have quit immediately but the reason you didn't is the reason you got the job in the first place. Pat yourself on the back and enjoy your new life.

No one can tell someone else what to do in retirement but I would suggest a quick trip to S. America. Panama, Ecuador, Costa Rica, Honduras and even Columbia. Been to Ecuador and it's nice.

I agree
by: Mick Waller

I totally agree, I took redundancy at the end of Nov 13 after 10 years of working 60+hours starting at 5 am and sometimes still being called up by the transport division at 1 am.

Sept 2012, I had 4 months of with exhaustion and upon my return, I decided that I would retire early and when offered redundancy, I jumped at it and have not do not looked back.

I now sleep more than 3 hours for the first time in over 25 years and am walking every day with the wife and am learning to fly remote control helicopters and we are able to visit with friends for the first time in years.

So if anyone is not sure about stopping work I say GO FOR IT, do not hesitate, all the best.

Can I help you?
by: Wendy,

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Retirement: Who Am I?

by: Anonymous

You are not alone. I also felt a feeling of failure, upon quitting work. I stopped working due to chronic health issue 6 mths ago.

I feel better physically since I am not working, still have bad days, however, I am able to rest on those days. Exercising several times a week and socializing as much as possible, although meeting new people is more difficult than I thought it would be. Everyone I know is still working.
I promise you that feeling of failure or not belonging will come and go, but lessens as you
stay active !!!

Good luck to your journey of retirement, stay in touch with [Retirement-Online]. This site has been helpful to me.

by: Anonymous

It sounds like you are on your way to reinventing yourself. Taking classes and being around others is key.

I too feel like you, glad I am no longer under the stress of working a fast paced job. I also feel a sense of loss and not being appreciated. One of my coworkers contacted me, but it was basically to inform my about paper work.

I have reached out and called a coworker , had a very nice conversation. Co workers are very very busy trying to accomplish their job duties during the day and in the evening they are tired and doing things in their home.

I do miss the social aspect of working, I worked in healthcare, worked with many different people. Even though we were not friends outside of work, we accomplished alot, worked together to solve problems.

I understand that-when we work we are very time constricted.

I am exercising 3x a week and spending time with family and friends{looking for friends who no longer work}. I am starting to enjoy the moment!!!

Good Luck to you in your journey!!!

Not Alone
by: ET


I can understand how you felt after leaving work and not feeling appreciated. I retired because my health was suffering and I knew I had to make a change. Several months after retiring the illness I was dealing with went into remission and I hope never comes back.

However, logic of knowing we have to leave work to actually dealing with the day to day routine is a challenge.

Routine is the first thing I missed after months of being on "holiday" I felt like something was not right so I knew I had to face the reality that I was not going back to work and start what was the next phase of my life.

It has been over a year since I retired and I am still in the transition phase.

Good luck with your new adventures. Life is an adventure, one day at a time.

Your not alone
by: Tom


I had the same feelings and i am still having a hard time with the transition into retirement. I also was the go to guy and really loved what I did. I worked for thirty one years in my field and thought retirement was the berries.

Well until it came, as you talk about the feeling of worthlessness, it to came on me. Well all the work you did will not go unnoticed and un appreciated. Keep moving forward and you will find your way.

Best of luck with your journey. This is a great place for advice and sharing.

glad i am not alone
by: Anonymous

I understand where Bee is comming from. I am much better off not working (physically and emotionally) but realize that I never got any validation for the hard work I put in and what I accomplished. Now someone else is taking over hopefully building on what you have accomplished but who knows.

I don;t even really hear from anyone from work and it has only been 6 months. its like you never existed.

I am getting on with building my new life but it stings a little.

by: Sharyn~~~CANADA

Dear Bee

How good of yur boss to phone & wish u good luck!
Did u ever get together eg. retirement party or whatever? And were yur co-workers invited? Did u receive a parting gift?

How u were treated after retirement by your former boss is inexcusable! Life goes on, however from the # of years u committed yourself to your job & the boss not giving u any or very little acknowledgement is outrageous.

Chalk this event up to (lessons learned) in the journey of life.

Look at the bright side, no more headaches, stress, or 60 hour work weeks!

Forget about that shmuck ~ & the people who haven't bothered to call or try & make arrangements to get together.

Bee - u have another third of your life to live & it sounds like u r definitely on the right track to a new and wonderful life


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