Glad I am Not Alone
I am a new retiree (Oct 30, 2013). After working 20 years at a small company where I was the go to... #2 person after the owner of the company.
I worked 60+ hours a week and typically worked 6 days a week. I was a telecommuter so I was always on my own working in my home office. My job was fast paced and stressful. As I got older the stress really took its toll on me physically.
When I started to get migraines about 6 months ago (almost every month). I decided it was time for me to go. I know it was shock to my boss and until the end he really never thought I would do it. The last 3 months before I left were really hard. I was training people all over the place and eventually just was side lined while everyone took over all of my responsibilities. I know all of this had to happen and that I shouldn't have cared. After all, I was retiring!
I was definitely a person that was totally defined by my job. I lived,ate and slept (though not well) it. On my last day my
boss called said good luck said we needed to get together when I went back east hung up and that was it.
I was mentally preparing myself for having to find myself again and even going a bit crazy with boredom. Never did I anticipate leaving my job and feeling like a failure- as if all the hard work never really meant anything to anybody but that is exactly the way I feel.
I have picked myself up and I am moving forward. I work out 4 to 5 days a week, I am taking to fun classes at a local college. I have signed up for training to volunteer as a teacher with a literacy program.
Since I retired I haven't had one migraine and I sleep soundly through the night. I know I did the right thing in leaving but this feeling of being a failure just won't die. I just don't know how to get past this.