Updated 2026. My mother passed at age 97 (2024) RIP. I will be updating this site so I can help retirees again. Write to me!

Losing my identity

I'm on the cusp of retirement at 58. Everyone tells me I'm so lucky because we can afford to retire early. My husband retired at 57. However, I'm scared.

I'm leaving the best job I've ever had, the highest salary, a fantastic boss, and a great deal of accomplishment. I know I'll miss my work "family" and I'm afraid I'll feel less than valuable to the world.



Wendy: You left no name, no email address, so you may never see this... but I am VERY curious WHY you are retiring?

If you aren't ready, why not continue working a bit longer? Is your husband pushing you to retire? Is he happy in retirement?

Retirees told me (for years), "You'll know when you are ready" and I worked 5 years past eligibility... and suddenly, no doubt, I WAS READY!

This doesn't mean that retirement isn't right for you, it also doesn't mean that you aren't ready.

What makes you anxious about retirement?
Can you possibly work there part-time?
What might help you to feel fulfilled in retirement (part time work, volunteer, hobbies)?

Don't simply retire. Forget the finances.

Consider what you will do, day after day, for the 8 hours you worked each day.

Comments for Losing my identity

Click here to add your own comments

Losing of the personality
by: Ashfaq Gulzar

Certainly your mental approach is very well right. I also got retirement bit earlier and most of the time found some thing very much missing, though like you perhaps I did not have the financial problems. Finances are impotent but not life. One should remain busy in the life.
RETIREMENT CAN BE AS ENJOYABLE AS WORK ....
by: Retd. Prof. Mr. Durgesh Kumar Srivastava, New Delhi, India.

According to a management guru, what ever you do with your time is, in a way, work. When you work to earn money, to produce something, to provide some service to others .... It is paid work or a job. When you work just for the fun of it .... It is leisure. You can combine the two phases .... Work + leisure. In your retirement you have more of leisure and less of work. If you raise the work component, you will be free of the problem which prompts you to say that you are losing your identity.

I retired more than 7 years ago as a college professor, and re-retired in 2010 as a part time visiting college professor. All my friends continue to address me as 'professor saheb' (respected professor). I have not lost my identity because i have continued to be busy in an intellectual and academic way. When my fellow retirees gloomily talk in the park about the deteriorating economic condition of the country, i explain to them the concept of real flows and money flows and try to soothe their nerves.

I wrote the story of a woman relative who worked all her life but never brought home a penny of her earnings in fulfillment of a promise that she made to her very rich father-in-law. Wendy was kind enough to publish this story. You can read it here

Retirement Memories: A Shining Example Set By a Remarkable Woman

My best wishes to you
retirement
by: Martha

I am working part-time write now to pay off my bills and will work til I get tired of working
Martha
martha2851 at usa.com

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Anxiety and Depression.


Senior Voices - Experience retirement living through the voices of our readers!