Military Retirement: Beyond Confused and deeply hurt
Reconnected with a man that i met when I was 14. I lived in Florida and he lived in North Carolina. We dated long distance for a year and saw one every single month for about 10-14 days at a time. He then decided to retire due to major knee problems and pending surgeries.
Long story short, he retired after 27.5 years and moved down to Florida to be with me because we were madly in love and we wanted to start our future together. Then, 3 months went by and out of the blue he told me to move out of our house and that he was never going to marry me. I begged him to talk to me and some how he snapped out of it.
Then, fast forward, 6 months later, after me walking on eggshells and doing everything I could to not aggravate him because I knew he wasn't transitioning very well out of the military... I came home from work. I kissed him and told him I missed him and he told me that he wanted me out and that he doesn't love me. All he would tell me is that he doesn't "see" me in his future and I asked him to explain. But he is incapable. I asked him what I did so that in a future relationship I won't make the same mistakes. All he would say is "you're smart, beautiful and sexy and you are a great person".
I literally watched him erode before my eyes within 9 months I lived with him. He can barely parent his child because he can't handle anything that looks like conflict. I.E. I caught his son stealing out of my purse and my now ex just sat there in looking down and made me handle it. Which, I did with kindness and told the kid I was disappointed and what not. But I never yelled or name called.
So, I moved out 2 months ago and when I went to his house to drop off receipts for my financial damages he caused me due to my sudden urgent breakup... he answered the door talking on the phone and he wouldn't hang up (it was personal call where he was chit chatting) and he wouldn't look at me.
I would have moved planets for this guy because i was deeply and madly in love with him. And now I can't even get him to respond to me or look at me. I have no clue where this came from but I know I'll never see him again because he has killed off his former self and turned a person I don't recognize at all. What he did was very cruel and undeserved because we never argued, and I showered him with love and affection. He was my best friend up until 3 months after he moved in with me. Then he literally dissolved. Breaks my heart.
Wendy's other site... because Aging Matters!