My Journey

by Christi
(Menasha, WI)

My husband and I had always dreamed of retiring at age 55.

When we got here, insurance being so expensive and all, he wanted to keep working and encouraged me to retire.

For the last few years, I had been working from home and feeling micromanaged and isolated. When June rolled around last year, and after a stressful day, (plus having put it off as I was now almost 56), I pulled the plug.

I had envisioned carefree, relaxing days just filled with sipping coffee on my deck, taking long walks, taking my good time doing household chores. Many family members are retired so we’d hang out a lot too.

Well here I am 9 months later. I find the days are long. Housework gets done quickly. I do take walks but that can get dull too.

I now feel guilty for retrospect soon. I get anxious and depressed. I feel lonely. I see family here and there but it’s not like I imagined.

I did take a 10 hour a week part time job and I volunteer 1 day a week. Of course now that is all on hold due to Coronavirus.

I feel like I’m useless, worthless and I don’t know what to do with myself.

Comments for My Journey

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“Work mode” blues
by: Nui

It’s funny- I was just writing my blog and my first paragraph was almost exactly what you said.

The first year I found it very hard to fill my time because I was still in "work mode". My brother was the same way. It takes awhile to wrap your head around the fact that you have a new life.

One of the things I did was make a list of chores as well as treats and cut them up into individual bits of paper. I stick them in a bag and pull one out when I’m feeling like I have too much time on my hands. It might be "clean a closet" or it might be "go to the hair salon and have your hair washed". It’s a surprise and it can be a fun way to get out of the doldrums. Now that I’ve got 7 years in the bag, I still pull out a "chore" now and then but, to tell the truth, life has gotten pretty busy.

Good luck to you!
Journey
by: Sherry/ NC

Retirement is all about doing what you want to do when you want to do it! Accept freedom and find your way. There are many things to do; just motivate yourself to do them and have fun too!

It is all about you finding your way, not about another person to hold your hand and tell you what to do. Another person can give you ideas, but not take you there.

You can do this. I do. We all need a purpose it makes us happy to put our feet on floor in the mornings
with a purpose for the day; even if it is walking for our health, learning to cook a delicious meal, making crafts with our grans and making a point to say, "hello" to our neighbors.

Retirement is another stage in our life. You have to learn to live it. What is your passion?
Christi's Journey
by: Wendy, Retirement Enthusiast/Coach

Yep, I hear you. Sound like many other retirees could have written this! Our collective stories are so alike.

What really caught my eye today is this: "but it’s not like I imagined. "

Think about how often you imagine a life event -- your own wedding, child's graduation, planned vacation and yes, retirement. Now remember how often your imagined event was in reality-- we are often disappointed in how life plays out.

Of course our dreams are near-perfect! Even in retirement -- you see bright sunny skies not rainy gray skies, and drama-free days not family hassles, family-filled weekends vs family having other things like groceries and cleaning house to do, and fulfilling yet do-it-when-I-want-to days vs. never-ending boredom.

Life is rarely what we imagined...

SO what can you do about it?

-- Start a friendly neighbor walk group?
-- Join some book clubs, walking clubs, lunch clubs?
-- How might you help family out during the week so that you can spend more time with them on the weekend?
-- OR what can you plan for the grandkids on the weekend to give the parents time to get things done or even rest up for the next week?

Christi -- I know its not easy to think out of the box as you are slowly sliding downhill. You must change direction before you are in a full blown depression... that will take far more work to pull yourself out of.

Consider you options -- even in the midst of this pandemic, and get ready for the day it ends and you are ready to FLY!

Wendy, Retirement Enthusiast/Retirement Coach

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