OH NO its time to GO

by Byron
(Ark city KS)

I have had a very mixed work history. Starting with farm machinery to oil refining to heavy metal construction to burner boiler technician.

I have traveled around the world 3 1/2 times plus what I have traveled in the US and South America. It's been 10's of thousands of miles. I have met all kinds of people mostly good and helpful.

The last 15 years I have taken my job home every night because of its ramifications life or death advise on the telephone everyday to hundreds of tech's. One wrong piece of info and someone dies.

You would think I would want to get away from this a sap but all these people I talk to have become very close to me and it is VERY hard for me to just walk away and leave them high and dry so to speak. The thought of having no options to make further moneys to fund my projects and to travel around the US in the old motor home. Being around my wife and her mother 24 7 is going to take some adjusting as well.

I started taking Fridays of last year so as to give me more time to do projects but am having problems getting inspired to accomplish much. I have seen the taj mahal, red square and many things in my travels and lack 5 states of seeing all 50. My wife wants to start traveling everywhere and I know we will not have the funds to do so without me returning to some kind of work.

I have this feeling inside that I just can't stop, it is giving me high blood pressure, anxiety, doubting myself and not sleeping well. Everyone says its natural but not to me I just can't deal with it along with some serious health issues that are not curable and have to take meds for it every day or die. I am just about to pop.

I have talked myself off the cliff numerous times but don't know how many more times I can do it with out crashing. So I'm not sure whether its retirement or life drama that is my biggest demon. I am sure the combination sucks. I still have a good body to get the things done but it takes a little longer.

At 67 I just didn't think I would be in this predicament. 8 months ago blood pressure was 120/85 now 150/100 so I know it is creeping up on me but I feel like I am not prepared mentally to handle all this drama.

Comments for OH NO its time to GO

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Know yourself
by: Elizabeth , West Virginia

Although I have not covered the miles you have, I have been blessed with some wonderful adventures.

My husband left me while I was in my middle 50's with 3 children to raise. I discovered I was not an appendage of his and began to find "me".

You need to negotiate some time to yourself, what I call my "quiet time". Time to pursue those projects that are meaningful to you. Family needs to understand that you are not being selfish, but filling a need.

Your former life was full of new places and knowledge, there is no need to stagnate now, you have so much to share.

I enjoy photographing wildlife, so spoke to school children about my adventures, they drank it in and their questions were amazing and full filling to me.

You will find your way and I believe you can find that door to open a that new path.

Time to Stop
by: Laura in Vermont

I felt like you six years ago. I was in my boss' office and we were talking about work when he asked how I was and I just broke down and cried. Up till then I had been accumulating stress and not even feeling it. My boss sent me to the doctor and arranged a therapist for me. I had depression.

The three weeks afterward were so scary because I could not get my feet under me. The world was a blur and I was afraid of doing things I knew how to do. But with treatment I got better. This can happen again but I know more about it and have good preventive measures.

I'd say get out while you can. You are replaceable at work, trust me, and your choice is on your feet or feet first. Get help, and then decide whether you should be going into a big change while recuperating from this. Take medical time off, get checked out, work on getting better. You may find retirement is attractive or you may choose to go back to work for a while longer. Either way you'll still have time and choice.

Best of luck!

A new time to go for you
by: Elna Nugent, Mass. USA

Dear Byron:

You need to "take time off right now." You need a year to get your bearings and meet yourself again as if you were your new best friend.

Retiring is a huge adjustment but it can be fine if you can negotiate with wife and family what is absolutely necessary for your mental and physical well being. …right now.

This is a time when you can really get to know yourself and realize who you really are. If you need money, ask your wife if she would like to take on a job she might enjoy to pay for her need to travel because YOU NEED A YEAR OFF AND AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

Your life could change for the better overnight if you make a plan and insist on it. Your wife needs a change but perhaps not the same change as you. Negotiate.

Get to know yourself and honor who you are. Trust the future. and keep us in touch when you feel like it.
Many blessings.

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