OH NO its time to GO
(Ark city KS)
I have had a very mixed work history. Starting with farm machinery to oil refining to heavy metal construction to burner boiler technician.
I have traveled around the world 3 1/2 times plus what I have traveled in the US and South America. It's been 10's of thousands of miles. I have met all kinds of people mostly good and helpful.
The last 15 years I have taken my job home every night because of its ramifications life or death advise on the telephone everyday to hundreds of tech's. One wrong piece of info and someone dies.
You would think I would want to get away from this a sap but all these people I talk to have become very close to me and it is VERY hard for me to just walk away and leave them high and dry so to speak. The thought of having no options to make further moneys to fund my projects and to travel around the US in the old motor home. Being around my wife and her mother 24 7 is going to take some adjusting as well.
I started taking Fridays of last year so as to give me more time to do projects but am having problems getting inspired to accomplish much. I have seen the taj mahal, red square and many things in my travels and lack 5 states of seeing all 50. My wife wants to start traveling everywhere and I know we will not have the funds to do so without me returning to some kind of work.
I have this feeling inside that I just can't stop, it is giving me high blood pressure, anxiety, doubting myself and not sleeping well. Everyone says its natural but not to me I just can't deal with it along with some serious health issues that are not curable and have to take meds for it every day or die. I am just about to pop.
I have talked myself off the cliff numerous times but don't know how many more times I can do it with out crashing. So I'm not sure whether its retirement or life drama that is my biggest demon. I am sure the combination sucks. I still have a good body to get the things done but it takes a little longer.
At 67 I just didn't think I would be in this predicament. 8 months ago blood pressure was 120/85 now 150/100 so I know it is creeping up on me but I feel like I am not prepared mentally to handle all this drama.