It took a couple of years for the anxiety and depression to set in and I can honestly say I have never really experienced much depression in my life - I just sort of picked myself up and moved ahead. Not this time.
I retired from a busy job in NYC with long commute time and was really ready to pack it in. I moved out of state to be near my oldest son and two grandchildren. When I first built the house I had so much to do with just settling in and at the same time my mother became ill and passed away and visiting her frequently took up a lot of time - so I really did not hit the retirement brick wall until after she passed and this new house was done.
By that time the grandkids were two years older and visited me less and I have just become someone who buys them an occasional video game!
Life changed abruptly for me. I did not realize that building a house in a development would be so isolating. What was I thinking? People go off to work and school and I sit here. There are several retirees in the neighborhood who are wonderful people but they are all couples. This is a very couples area. I advise my single friends not to retire unless they find a partner.
My son is off two days during the week and we explore places, but I do not want to be his responsibility. Hence, I made the mistake of building in a suburban neighborhood, not within walking distance of even a coffee shop, and have to drive everywhere. After two years, realize this is not for me. Have decided to put house on the market after the holidays and spend the few months, once again, finding a place to live.
I am an amateur photographer, but most of the clubs and groups are miles away! In NYC I walked to classes and workshops. I wake up at 4:00 a.m. every day in a panic. I am reading an interesting book called "Nomadland" about this country's older people who are "houseless" because of losing everything int he financial crash of 2008. These people live in mobile homes - some makeshift - and travel the country in search of temporary work to help them survive.
Helps me realize that I am lucky to have the option of finding a roof over my head that does not have wheels. Though these people have more comradeship than I do. I need more of a sense of "Main Street" - a coffee shop to go to each day where people get to know me; more walkability. Thinking of moving to Northern California near my other son who lives in a small town so I don't have to drive fifty miles every day.
Feel bad about leaving my family here, but this is NOT for me.