What's it like to Be Retired? Interesting Commentary by Irwin!

Who the Heck are You?

by Rock N Lips

Yesterday my much younger husband and I, (Ms. Retiree for two years), drove up to a coffee shop. Inside We saw a group of coworkers. I opened my car door and said "Oh I can’t go out." (The car next to me was parked too close)

My husband, not knowing I was talking about the car mumbled " Why, they don’t know who the heck you are."

I said "What are you talking about? I’m talking about the car door." I was shocked because he’s never said anything mean like that to me before. And he already knows I have a complex about he and I because, he tends to get a lot of attention and I tend to feel like chopped liver. (Mind you, I’m a Leo and I crave attention.)

Anyhow, I walked into the coffee shop ahead of him and the three coworkers recognized me and greeted me. It made me feel good. And of course he had to yack with them for a while.

He tried to back track what he said to me but I know what I heard. It’s just hard when you come from a job of importance., I was a Payroll Coordinator and of course everyone was nice to me because I processed their paycheck.

Even the grandkids love to run up and play with their Papa. "Papa!!!" They scream. "Hey, where’s my hug?" I’m the one who feeds them, plays games with them and gets their beds ready during sleepovers. Who remembers their birthdays, and buys them presents? But I’m just there for comfort and Papa gets all the credit and hoopla!!

Who am I again?

Comments for Who the Heck are You?

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Communication
by: Fern

I doubt that your husband meant that he was not wanting to be with you, even though it might sound that way. You need to clarify with him, painful though it might be. It is between you and him, and only the two players can resolve the meaning. We were not there and can't add anything.

We make "I" statements so as to not alienate the other person. "I thought you meant . . . when you said . . ." "Is that right?" "I need to understand, tell me more about that."

Time to remind the others what you want. Do you want a gift, a thank you, a break from the routine? Speak!! What have you got to lose?

It isn't fair
by: Anonymous

A lot about life and other people isn't fair. You need to do things that YOU enjoy. You know your own value!

Failure to Communicate
by: John A. / Tyler

I don’t quite know what to say about your post. It does sound very familiar to something that happens in my own life; where things said are misunderstood or taken wrong.

Often times I will make a response to a comment and my life’s partner will twist innocent comments into something personal about her. Self centerness and ego can be poison to any relationship. Making someone walk on egg shells about what they say or do is just as damaging.

The way I read things, your hubby responded to the way you said something without your being clear in what you were talking about. And it seems as though you were expecting him to read your mind in what was being conveyed. Instead, you could have said "I can’t get out because the other car is too close". That simple clarifying statement would have avoided turning his response into something personal and taking your ego and self centerness out of the equation.

What "we have here is the failure to communicate". Does that line from the movie ‘Cool Hand Luke’ sound familiar?


Really?
by: Bill Hartford, Durango

You must be pretty hard to live with if you dis a good man for saying something so innocent. No wonder the kids come to him instead of you. Get over yourself, Ms. Important Position

To Rock N Lips
by: Shredder in Arizona

Hi Rock N Lips. (Cute name!)

I don't mean to sound harsh here but if what your husband said to you is the worst thing he's ever said to you, you're a lucky woman! Depending on his tone of voice, I would have just shrugged it off thinking he didn't get your message about being too close to the car next to you and I would have let it go.

My husband is 5 years younger than I am (at this age - 66 - it DOES make a difference) and my granddaughter wants her Grandpa way before she wants me even though I feed her, bathe her, read her stories and clean her little bottom when she poops! Grandpas are the "fun" grandparent - don't let it get you down.

I think you may have some issues that you need to address. Reading the book suggestion from another poster is a good idea.

Life is too short. Go easier on yourself and you will find your retirement happiness, or at least not be so conflicted.

Good luck!

Who Are You?
by: Wendy, www.retirement-online.com

Not quite sure what to say here... but I immediately thought of this book for some odd reason.

Please consider this book as I believe it will get you away from Ego-thinking, and let you live in peace - enjoying every moment!n Life is not about who is getting attention... you are missing out.


A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose


Best Wishes!

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